Forget about the heartfelt letters. And you will be surprised by how comforting it is to be very sick with an actual doctor upstairs. I had to turn myself away from the movie of what I thought was happening, the movie I had made for myself, so that I could see her. We had never spoken on the phone. I guess you never know if youre the person whos going to look good bald until youre bald.. Off we went to bed, the book and I, and in doing so put the chain of events into motion. After a while she drifted up to the kitchen, taking a stab at the half of banana I had abandoned. The park was packed this morning. I sent you another book that will show up eventually, a tiny French novel I love called The Lost Estate (Le grand meaulnes) by Alain-Fournier. Youre detoxifying all your inner organs.. If she missed a session, would her hair fall out anyway? Karl disagreed. Marriage meant that he would hear out what on the surface may have appeared to be a spectacularly stupid idea. Germline variants are passed from parents to their children, and are associated with increased risks of several cancer types, including pancreatic, ovarian and breast cancers. I came and watched from the open door. She was doing every part of her job that could be done over email or by phone. Except it was Sooki, and I liked her very much. Tell me the news of the great world, Karl would say when he got home from work, and since many were the days I didnt leave the house, I relied on books and phone calls and emails in order to have something to contribute. And youre going to freeze your head for eight hours every week? Wed been together for a matter of minutes. There is a bright therapist named Hassan at my assigned machine, always the same, with a sweet attitude. This chemo wasnt the nightmare FOLFIRINOX had been. And I shared that with her when we spoke about her essay collection "These Precious Moments" (ph) last November. Who is she? Could I say that I would like to come see her? What Sooki thought she should have done with her life was paint. I was going to tell Karl what was happening but he was looking at his own phone. And we were. We did up dog and down dog in endless repetition. I flew to New York early the next morning, took a car to New Jersey, signed several hundred books, attended a cocktail-party fund-raiser for the Book Industry Charitable Foundation, gave a talk in a crowded town hall, got to my hotel room in Manhattan at midnight, got up in the morning to tape a segment for the Today show, then was back on a plane. I told him. Was this what COVID-19 felt like? And she couldn't fly because the flights were canceled. NPR's Mary Louise Kelly speaks with author Ann Patchett about her latest collection of essays, These Precious Days, and how she ended up quarantining with Tom Hanks' personal assistant. If it hadnt been for the cancer, I never would have come here. It was our place, what Sister Nena called vacation. She ordered the house merlot and I had a seltzer with cranberry juice. It can be a character, a place, a moral quandary. And so I couldn't call my mom. OVERVIEW EXHIBITIONS BIOGRAPHY Past Exhibitions. Please sign in to save videos. This wasnt out of the ordinary for me, as Im sure it wasnt for her. In her last two and a half years, Sooki started painting. I really could call once, and I wanted to call her after dinner. All the people who love me and how hard this has been for them, the cancer. He said they were running more trials for pancreatic cancer than Sloan Kettering. We said our goodbyes and Adrian and I walked downtown to see what had happened. Sooki went with him every day. He didnt know her, and I didnt exactly know her either. She painted and slept and did her work; she had her Zoom meetings and her Zoom gatherings with friends. She and Ken put what mattered most in the car and started driving, waiting to see which way the wind would shift the wall of flame. He was tall and slim, happily at ease, answering questions, signing books. You all did a book event. KELLY: Wow. She painted her granddaughter striding through a field of her own imagination, she painted herself wearing a mask, she painted me walking down our street with such vividness that I realized I had never seen the street before. He would bring a copilot to split up the hours. Hey, how are you? Sooki had been a marathoner, though her best event was a 10K trail run. If it werent for me, youd be walking around with a penguin on your head right now.. That didnt work. Nothing. She was there and then she was gone and we wouldnt see her again until the next morning. KELLY: The title essay, "These Precious Days," is about a remarkable friendship that you formed with the personal assistant of Tom Hanks, who - long story short - you got to know. I told her it was all an elaborate hoax. Sooki had come to our house thinking shed be staying with someone who was gone half the time and busy the other half of the time. In time, all I would have to say was, Its Friday. This is what I need, she said, excited. We breathed deeply and flexed our spines. It had zero spiritual component. The other partners in his clinic asked him to stay home and practice telemedicine until there was a better sense of how the pandemic would be resolved. She worked for Tom Hanks. I shook my head. The paintings came from a landscape of dreams, pattern on pattern, impossible colors leaning into one another. We wrote about painting because she painted. Or maybe it wasnt as bad as that. Still, she said, I cant help feeling like I should have done more with my life.. Never. She had moved in before the pandemic. There was an abstract image, and it was clearly younot in a physical way, but as a soul. I dont take notes. Where were you born? You cant go home, and we dont want you to go home.. We tried to be jolly and failed and cried again. There is no sense in putting that burden on yourself. Sooki Raphael 12 Titles Is this you? As the co-owner of a bookstore, I do this sort of thing, and while I mostly do it in Nashville, where I live, there have certainly been requests interesting enough to get me on a plane. I pushed my face into his shoulder, apologizing. The days went on and I could feel Sooki slipping, hounded by her own indecision. We kept a common grocery list on the kitchen counter. It was late and Id just finished the novel Id been reading. There was no money or freedom or wherewithal to buy another ticket and see him sooner. She had wanted to be a better person, and here she believed she was better. In some ways its not unlike putting together my own life. ANN PATCHETT: Aw, Mary Louise. I looked up every anomaly online, settling on too much black tea, or maybe the wrong color shoes. Shes there in Patchetts basement for the rest of lockdown. We lit the gas stove with matches and made dinner. These are the precious days of the title. I no longer needed the protection. Whats fascinating fails to translate. As we worked our way through trying to get contracts signed and making arrangements with the audio producer, our emails became an affectionate exchange. With many creative endeavors - from clothing to ceramics to a long career in the film industry Raphael has contributed to numerous projects, busily attending to the arts . Sookis loving memory will live on in her husband Ken Wheeland, son Cody Wheeland, his wife Sara Wheeland and their children Anja and Oliver, her daughter Alison Villalobos and husband Luke Villalobos, her mother Miriam Raphael, her sisters Judy Raphael and Ruth Raphael, her stepbrothers Michael Fishman and Philip Fishman, and stepfather Ted Fishman an amazing circle of friends and extended family. She wrote her thesis on bats and rabies. Everything was lined upexcept Sooki didnt want to go. But of course the thing to do would be to go, wouldnt it? There was my grandmother, my father. Join The Spectator community and view or post a comment on this article. For a while she filled in for a friend and was the assistant to a film director, and then another friend introduced her to Tom, who was looking for someone. You cant kill yourself because youre afraid of being an inconvenience., Lets wait and talk about it on Sunday. The road forks and forks again. Why shouldnt I read one? I was packing boxes, writing cards, and making cheerful videos in which I extolled the virtues of the books I loved. She brought her paintings upstairs to show us: a person who was too shy to say good night most nights was happy for us to see her work. We waited. I chart your emotional life.. Once I start writing things down, I feel like Im nailing the story in place. Do you want to come downstairs? she asked. Sooki was the kind of person who could do anything, and did just about everything. I had a purpose to serve. Are you breathing? I had a concrete reason to be careful about the germs I was bringing into the house. And then I found out that she had had pancreatic cancer, that she had had a Whipple, that she had gone through chemo and radiation, that she had been pronounced cancer free, that her cancer came back. Karl was seventy-two. We found a diner down the street from where I would be speaking. She was indefatigably pleasant and warm while maintaining her distance. Pancreatic cancer is an aggressive disease that is difficult to detect because symptoms - including jaundice and weight loss - typically present at a later stage in the cancer's development. What about your sisters? I asked. My husband, Ken, will come down for at least part of the time, once Ive started chemo, and I may have other visitors, so I think I will explore some other options in the area, but I cant tell you how touched I am that youve extended the offer. I wouldnt. Im afraid if I leave Ill never see you again, she said in a voice I could barely hear. And the only time I ever feel paranoid about death is when I'm in the middle of a novel because I don't want the novel to die. It was now or never. Register, Tom Hanks and Rita Wilsons Assistant Died of Pancreatic Cancer. I couldnt. But remembering all the wonderful ways your loved one enriched your life and moving on from there can be such a powerful way to move forward. I had come late to pandemic shopping, but fortunately the staples I relied onchickpeas, coconut milkwere still plentiful. The chemo, the clinical trial, the yoga and the vegetables, the prayers of nuns and all the time to paintwhat if it added up to something? Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. She gave us a giant furry blanket that I loved. Twenty-two sessions down and six to go. Use this bar to access information about the steps in your cancer journey. I was leaving for Virginia. Thought-provoking commentary and opinion on politics, books and the arts. This wasnt the first time Id invited someone we didnt know to live with us. That woman was author Ann Patchett whom she first met backstage at an event with Hanks in 2017. I studied what did not come naturally, she told me. Sometimes Sooki would leave money on the kitchen counter, For groceries, she would say, for gas, for the books., I would shake my head. I thought he was angry and at the same time I knew my judgment to be flawed. Would you just paint us a picture of her? Want to change your email address or password? The paintings were bold, confident, at ease. I was going only for the night. The first door opened and I walked through. She brought her paintings upstairs to show us: a person who was too shy to say good night most nights was happy for us to see her work. Theres usually a guy working the light board and the mics who talks to me for a minute, though tonight the guy talking was Tom Hanks. Lets not forget the cancer, I said, and we laughed. I am doing my best to keep it pushed off to the side, but I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in November (caught it early) so Ive been dealing with surgeries and chemo. Sooki agrees to stay for a few nights. Gingerly we picked our way forward. I will pick you up very late on Tuesday and take you to see Johanna on Wednesday. Still, wasnt it worth mentioning? I miss our emails. Now I knew several people who were using them as part of therapy. My goal was to maintain neutrality. Sooki said shed heard about it, too, and knew other cancer patients whod tried it, but she was hesitant, as any right-minded adult would be hesitant about adding the X factor of fungi into an already complicated chemical mix. I was interested in her children. They cant do the Stanford biopsy here? Two words I kept trying to bring up as I convulsed on the bathroom floor. I was an introvert again. How other people live is pretty much all I think about. I had cut a small bouquet of Lenten roses and put them on the night table. I told him she worked for Tom Hanks, that wed struck up a little friendship over email. I wonder, I said to her one night while we walked Sparky around the block, do you think youre a good assistant because youre a private person, or did you become a private person because youve been an assistant for a long time?. We talked about what we were going to make for dinner. When I was very nearly at the end, I came to a beautiful lake, the kind youd see on a Japanese postcard, or my imagined picture of a Japanese postcard. He wasnt listening. I told him about Sooki that night, but it was equally possible that I wouldnt have. How could I not have known? Youve been so nice, but you didnt sign on for this. She stood in the kitchen, holding her cup of ginger tea. At any point in life. It was more like a magic trick than someone turning in for the evening. Im supposed to be flying.. It was possible, and I had no intention of thinking about it. There are so many things I understand now, she said. She was supposed to wear a complicated Velcro gel pack (unfortunately called a penguin cap) on her head on the days she had chemo. We love you, Sooki. The four frozen caps were to be stored in a cooler filled with fifty pounds of dry ice. She once caught bats for the City of New York. She moved to Nashville, Tennessee when she was six, where she continues to live. Maybe it had something to do with her job. A month later, I still hadnt seen all the clothes she had brought with her, and I never saw the cold caps. They would leave in four days. And the trial at UCLA was canceled because that's what COVID did. Everyone was laughing at his jokes because his jokes were funny. I wanted to go to bed and read. Dont do this., That was when her eyes would well up. Copyright 2023 SurvivorNet, Inc. All Rights Reserved. (It was not reassuring to know that one of the nurses at UCLA thought that Sloan Kettering was the name of the doctor Id be seeing.) A couple of authors who were scheduled to have events at the bookstore had pulled out. Like, I really understand that I'm going to die, but I don't want the whole novel to be wiped out. What with all the news of this new virus they thought there was a good chance people werent going to show up. And I'm always taken aback because it feels a little like asking a parent, who's your favorite child? I could see themmy family and my friends. Because if I didnt know that Sooki had a husband, how much did she know about me, about us? No doubt if Tom Hanks and Ann Patchett believe their friend to possess such wonderful qualities, she probably is a saint. Direct flights to Los Angeles had been suspended, and even if shed wanted to fly to Dallas to wait and see whether the connecting flight would be canceled (because thats what happened now), her weekly blood draws underscored the fact that she scarcely had enough white cells to qualify for chemo, much less protect her from a pandemic while on a commercial flight. She told me she thought shed put too much of her creative energy into her outfits over the years since she had stopped painting, though she might have said it to make me feel better. No events scheduled for January 19, 2023. I reminded him that in choosing to work, he ran the risk of killing our houseguest. Suffice to say the car I was strapped into followed a tunnel down into dark and darker colors, narrower spaces. How it happened is told in the title story of These Precious Days, Patchett's second collection of essays. I sat at my desk for a long time, trying to make sense of this: time when there was no time, and talent all out of proportion to the task. Sooki didnt talk about her husband or her children or her friends or her employer; she talked about color. Plant medicine, they called it now. She had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer a year after we met. And this led to you meeting Sooki. He describes her as "someone who is all that is good in the world." A neighbor of Patchett's described Sooki as a saint. I was the one who talked you out of the fifty pounds of dry ice.. I've got mail today, from one of Hollywood's top stars - Tom Hanks. There is nothing more interesting than time: the days that are endless, the days that get away. Even if it wasnt a perfect plan, it was better than doing nothing. Winter came without a word. She sent updateschapter eight now, chapter twelve. When we turned out the light that night I felt myself buzzing with happiness: After nearly three months of lockdown, we were going to have an adventure. This is the way novelists think: beginning, middle, and end. My breath was roaring now, in and out, my lungs enormous bellows that would not tolerate my death. Theyve been exposed to it?. Dear gave way to Dearest. Whether all of this together was what helped, or whether she had made up her mind to see only the good, I couldnt say. It turned out that Tom and Rita came to town something less than regularly but more than I would have thought. That night there was still no power, and so we lit candles. Everyone could bring his or her own sandwich and stay safely apart. Raphael turned to art during a tumultuous time in her life and created works that will continue to be enjoyed long after her passing. Just think, I would say to her on Wednesdays. The bookstore was closed to the public, but we were still shipping orders. Asked to endorse Hankss short story collection,Uncommon Type, and then to interview him on stage during his tour, Patchett first meets Sooki in the wings of a Washington theater. I was starting to understand that what she needed might have been color rather than conversation, breath rather than words. One of the last things I understand when Im putting a novel together is the structure of time. No events scheduled for January 16, 2023. She kept to herself, sleeping and painting, trying to wrestle it out. And then pancreatic cancer. Hell make sure you get everything you need. Sooki wore a leash as a child, the energy in her tiny frame too much for her mother to control. Unlike so many other small businesses, we had the means to pivot. When they called, she asked them all the right questions. I walked from my hotel to the theater and showed my ID to a guard who then led me to the crowded greenroom. Emma and I would be speaking at a librarians convention downtown. I was angry at myself. I once invited the daughter of a woman who ran a lecture series in Pittsburgh to live with us when she found a job in Nashville and couldnt find an apartment. A year and a half had passed since I had picked up his book in my office, and this was where it had taken me: Tom Hanks was willing to read The Dutch House. Sitting there in her shaggy pink rock-star coat, Sooki told me how much shed come to hate the cold. She was teaching at Bennington, in Vermont, and this was the first day of classes. It has been an exercise in creative storytelling to try to think up more and more reasons why the number might rise while the scans (CTs! I can tell you where it all started because I remember the moment exactly. Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson lost their friend Sooki Raphael to pancreatic cancer earlier this year. I hadnt meant this to be my career. We left early, taking into account the traffic that turned out to be eerily absent. What came out of her brush was a feast of colors and stories that she had kept in her heart for years. She had a double mastectomy and originally got implants with reconstruction. They arrive daily in padded mailersnovels, memoirs, essays, historiesthings I never requested and in most cases will never get to. No one could keep up with her. Arent we talking about doing this together?, Oh, I said. She loved Dr.Bendell. She had to pack her boxes the next day, Tuesday. The world that Sooki inhabited was electrified by greens and blues, purple bougainvillea draping over hot-pink walls, colors too vivid to be explained. We were still at the beginning then. "Primarily and in her soul she was an artist." In case you havent read it, Uncommon Type is a very good book. And there I was, going nowhere. may 21, 2019: Thank you for your concern about my medical procedure. I would tell you we were idiots, but thats true only in retrospect. Susan Joan Sooki Raphael of Topanga, CA passed peacefully on April 25th surrounded by friends, family, color, light, joy, and love. High-dose psilocybin produced large decreases in clinician- and self-rated measures of depressed mood and anxiety, along with increases in quality of life, life meaning, and optimism, and decreases in death anxiety. Lets go back to the hotel. You dont think this is crazy?, I didnt say that, but I know youre trying to help Sooki.. All this time Id been afraid of prying, only to discover that Sooki was happy to talk, to tell me about the bats, the sailboat to St.Barts, the desert in Tan-Tan, the surgery. Given Patchetts astonishing gifts as a storyteller, others embraced it but with reservations. It was her only chance of getting back safely anytime soon. She certainly isnt short of abundant care for others, and by the time you get to the end of this collection its hard not to feel glad she saved her energy for writing. Nell stayed for six months and we loved her. But when? It turns out that the trial that they were running at the hospital where he worked was exactly the trial she needed. Karl came home and we sat on the couch and watched a storm tearing up the backyard. And despite the fact that cancer has essentially been her whole life, Cuozzo has recognized herself as a lot more than a diagnosis by focusing on her life as a mother and an artist. Nailing the story in place of this New virus they thought there was an abstract image, and this the. Every week Wilson lost their friend Sooki raphael to pancreatic cancer than Sloan.. To Nashville, Tennessee when she was there and then she was better anomaly online, settling on much. It werent for me, about us a feast of colors and stories that she had a reason. Cup of ginger tea such wonderful qualities, she said that they were running more trials for pancreatic.. Same time I knew several people who love me and how hard this has for. 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